"She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain," always felt like strange code but now I get it. Now I GET IT. I imagine the script to go something like this:
Child: Mom, when will she be here?
Mother: (Scrubbing spot on floor.) She'll be here soon, honey.
Child: Mom, is she here yet?
Mom: (Picking up ornaments from tree that cat knocked down.) Not quite yet, honey, she'll be here soon.
Child: How many minutes, Mom?
Mom: (Delivering snack to child) Um, seventeen.
Child: But I don't WANT IT TO BE SEVENTEEN! I WANT IT TO BE RIGHT NOW!
Mom: (Straightening cushions on couch.) Well, look out around the corner. That's where she'll be coming from.
Child: No, Mommy, it's not a corner. It's a mountain.
Mom: (Bringing snack dishes to sink.) Fine, whatever, look around the mountain.
Child: She's not here yet.
Mom: (Putting clean dishes away.) Okay, keep looking.
Child: I don't see her.
Mom: (Bringing in laundry from offstage.) Okay, keep looking.
Child: But I STILL don't see her.
Mom: (Folding laundry) Well sing a song and when you get to the end, she'll be here.
Child: What song should I sing?
Mom: (Still folding laundry.) Maybe the ABCs?
Child: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, nowIknowmy ABCs, nexttimewon'tyou singwithme? Mom, she's still not here.
Mom: (Re-folding the pile of laundry that the baby just pulled down. Under her breath "jesus fucking christ.") Okay, um, let's make up a new song.
Child: Good idea, Mommy! Will you sing it for me?
Mom: (Hiding stack of mail in junk drawer.) Sure, um... she'll be coming... round the mountain... when she comes. She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes? She'll be coming round the mountain? She'll be coming round the mountain? She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes?
Child: (Singing along.) Nope, she's still not here.
Mom: (Wiping down table where smears from snack are still evident.) Okay, um, she'll be... wearing... red pyjamas? When she comes? She'll be wearing red pyjamas when she comes. She'll be wearing red pyjamas she'll be wearing red pyjamas she'll be wearing red pyjamas when she comes.
Child: (Singing along.) Ha ha, that's funny, Mom. I still don't see her.
Etc. etc. etc.